Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
