Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
