I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
