i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
