There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
