just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
