Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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