you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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