and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
