I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I party with great urgency now.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
