I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
no, he came in my armpit
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
