I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
