youre lurking in front of me
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she peed on how many people?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
