there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
