i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
