I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
