how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
