So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
