it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
