the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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