I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
