i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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