i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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