You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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