I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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