you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
