my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Houston, we have a blender
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
