Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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