just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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