Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
