Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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