sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
