well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We're too hungover to prance.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
