Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
