Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize