im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
