Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
