The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
