My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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