Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
