You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
