Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
