He is an equal opportunity slut.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Is it penis luge time yet?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
