One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
