This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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