apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
