She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
