Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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