K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
