it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
