Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
