How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
