i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize